Michael the philosopher

This is my page of random "wise" sayings and thoughts.

Compared to me, those greek people are just a bunch of silly folks. Some of these won't make much sense to everyone and some may be inside jokes, but all of Plato's work was actually one large inside joke (everything he wrote meant two different things for two different codes that he devised for his two mistresses. So what one mistress read meant a completely different thing from what the other one read, and what everyone else read was pure gibberish, and thus it is currently held in high regard. Note: I think I'm lying).

"Death, decay, and mutant frogs" ... "Are we gonna die?".

The other day I was thinking about pride. I hear a lot of boasting about how good their ancestors are. But what is better? To have ancestors who did something great or to do something great yourself. You can go around and parade about how good your great-great-grandparents were, but I'd prefer to go out and make a difference myself. If we spend too much time admiring what was done in the past, we won't have much of a future.

A lot of people will say "I am who I am". There's nothing wrong with being who you are. I have to say, I have a lot of respect for the individual. It takes more effort to be yourself rather than part of a large drone system. Anyway, I find that people use "I am who I am" as an excuse for not trying to improve themselves (I've probably done it too). Well, that's not the way it should be. There are no excuses for not improving oneself.

The other day, I was wondering why eating was such a common event of a romantic date. Since I have had minimal experience dating or other such romantic events, I consider myself an expert on the issue. I think the roots of this phenomenon comes from the German language. In German the word for "he" is "er" (said "air"). The word for "to be" is "sein" and the word for to eat is "essen". These look very far apart, but we'll see some similarities soon. To say "he is", that's "er ist", and to say "he eats", you say "er isst". When one says those out loud, they sound alike. Well, so, from that you could say "Wenn er nicht allein ist, ist er nicht allein" (if he isn't alone, he isn't alone). That's clearly a tautology, so that statement must be true. From that statement, we can derive the same statement if said outloud, which is "Wenn er nicht allein ist, isst er nicht allein". Since that sounds the same as our previous statement, it must also be a tautology. That statement reads as "When he isn't alone, he doesn't eat alone". So, from that, it's clear that if a person isn't alone (isn't single), then that person cannot possibly eat alone, and therefore, to be not single, you cannot eat alone, and why not eat with your significant other? So, we can deduct from the German language, that you are not permitted to eat by yourself if you have a significant other. I'm not one for long snacks where I sit around and talk for 20 minutes, so being single looks more attractive.

Michael the athlete

I was thinking about leaving a big blank page here as a joke.

The fact is, compared to other people, I'm not much of an athlete. However, athleticism isn't always about being better than the next guy, but rather being your personal best, and that's what I strive for. Back in 1999 (I think) I was looking for the magic fix to make me big and strong and skinny and I found Myoplex protein shakes. They didn't promise to be a miracle, but they were better than nothing and they didn't have deadly warnings. I picked up a box and found a "Body For Life" pamphlet. Inside was a guy saying, basically, "just give exercise 12 weeks and it will change your life." He wasn't offering a summer body or a quick 3 week fix, but he was offering what the name was, a "Body For Life". I decided to give the whole exercise thing a shot, and it worked out great. I've been in my best health ever. While I'm not huge and macho like the people in the ads, I feel great.

I would highly recommend exercise to those considering it and those who want to feel better. Note, I have to include the full disclaimer that you should consult your doctor before you start an exercise program. I don't know you, and maybe exercise will explode your heart and make your eyes melt. But call your doctor now, I don't care if his/her office is closed. Leave a message! But don't exercise for the wrong reasons. If you exercise to "lose weight", you may find that you've lost 5 pounds of water and you feel junky all the time and you don't look any better (which is the point of losing weight, anyway, right?). Exercise for better health and everything will fall into place. Utilize both weight training and aerobic training. Weight training burns more calories than most people suspect (so the weight loss crowd spends all their time on the treadmills). Aerobic training allows for amazing lung and heart strength (and trust me, you want a set of good lungs and a good heart).

While my athletic "accomplishments" are few, some of them are entertaining, and therefore it might be fun to read. Note: I'm not trying to show off. You'll notice that most of my accomplishments are pretty lame and mainly involve me failing or doing something dumb.

#1: 100-mile bike ride with a long sprint. Every year, a group of people from my church ride their bikes to New Hampshire from Connecticut to a church retreat center. The ride is just a little bit above 100 miles. A few years ago, I decided to ride along. I have a friend who is my age, Ted, who was also riding. Sadly, he was riding with his brakes rubbing for the first 10-20 miles, so that wiped him out pretty good. The group decided to split into a fast group and a slow group. I decided to go with the fast group. Of course, the fast group was made of up riders who had nice road bikes and big, strong legs. I had a mountain bike without a seat (funny story in itself) and little baby legs. Also, I was carrying Ted's backpack, if I remember right. Well, pretty soon I was falling back from the fast group, and the slow group was far enough behind that I couldn't see them. Soon, the fast group pulled out of sight and the slow group was still far behind and out of sight. Finally, I decided to do a "sprint" until I caught up. I found myself sprinting for a very long time. That fast group must have been really fast. Before I knew it, I was in New Hampshire. I decided to stop at a pay phone and call to see where people were (also, I wanted to make sure I was taking the right road. The whole trip is 3 roads: a road to route 10, route 10, and a road off route 10). Well, I found out that the fast group had pulled off for a break and waited for the slow group and that I blown by them. If I remember right, I was the first person to make it up that year. So, without even meaning to, I had sprinted up nearly the entire state of Massachusetts.

#2: A marathon and famous people (kinda). I decided to run the 2001 Greater Hartford Marathon. A Marathon is a 26 mile run, so it's not too easy. The race started, and I was going fine, until about mile 10, where I busted my knee in a pothole I didn't see (my leg fell down further than I had expected, and I landed hard on my locked knee). So, I couldn't run well. I took off my shirt and tied it around my leg and started limping along. 16 miles is a long way to run, it's a much longer way to limp. But since I wouldn't quit, I limped on (I had told people I was doing a marathon, and I didn't want to make myself a liar). Well, about mile 23 near a turn-around, I saw someone coming back limping along the other direction. We yelled back and forth about out afflictions, but we were going opposite directions, so the conversation was short. I decided to speed up my limp a few notches, because misery loves company. Finally, I caught up, and she (the other limper) and I struck up various bits of conversation. Her name was Katherine and she was running the marathon for charity. There are a bunch of other stuff mentioned, but I won't bore you with all the details. Anyhow, at one point in the conversation, she managed to mention that she was a motivational speaker/writer and that she would probably write an article about how I had limped so far (I think she limped from about mile 18) and she said it would be on her website, missnh.com. It took me until later that day to realize that missnh.com was for Miss New Hampshire, and that I was speaking with Miss New Hampshire herself, Katherine Pike (I might add that she was a very nice person, and that the Miss State people look much better in person without the fancy dresses and tons of makeup, and she wasn't at all stuck-up, or any such non-sense. And just a note to all you guys reading this, no, I do not have her number, so don't ask, and her fiancee was also running the marathon, so I think she is now married).

#3: A longer bike ride and a crash. Well, one day Ted (a great friend and bike rider) and I decide to do a longer bike ride than the 100 mile ride to New Hampshire. We decide that we're going to ride there and back in one day. The ride would have been well over 200 miles long. Well, we had ridden a long distance and were on our way back. We were crusing fast, as we had just come out of a long down hill and we wanted to make good time. Anyway, Ted was behind me and his tire slipped in some sand and hit a curb and his bike and he were flung off the road, and Ted landed right in a telephone poll. There was an Australian couple walking by, and Ted later recalled what they said "When I saw you hit that telephone, I said 'that can't be good!'" ("Of course that couldn't have been good" says Ted "I just hit a telephone pole!"). Anyway, the bike wasn't too injured (a bottle holder held its last bottle, and a toe clip broke), but Ted's wrist was broken, so, we had to wait outside a little grocerie store for a few hours while we waited to be picked up by Ted's father. It was a sad end to what would have been a very long day of bike riding.

Michael the punk

The word punk went through three phases.

The first term refers to a prison-sex slave. I have never had prison sex (or any sex) and I've never even been in prison. This was a rather rude term. Then there were a group of people who didn't dress like everyone else, who didn't talk like everyone else, who didn't think like everyone else. Society likes to ridicule the outcasts such as these, so they acquired the name "punks". Of course, since these people didn't really care that much what society said, they took the word "punk" and it eventually became a term of endearment among punks, but still an insult for people from the outside. However, once something gets a name, a marketing agency with a branch in New York and another branch in L.A. pick up on the name and start marketing it. They dictate what the name means. Now being a punk means going to a store in the mall and buying a $200 outfit ($30 metal wallet chains are absolutely mandatory) and then going out and buying a skateboard. The next step is to find a few rules that no one cares about (like "no yelling at passing cars"), then break the life out of those rules (but the rules can't be too major, because then the parents might stop giving their "punk" children their $300/week allowance, and the folks at the L.A. branch don't like the sound of that).

So, from my sarcasm, it's quite clear that I'm not excited about the latest meaning of the word punk and the first meaning of the word punk has less than nothing to do with me (math question, is the square root of negative one also less than nothing?). But the second meaning of "punk" I can agree with. While I sadly have not lived up to the "not-caring" standard 100%, it's a good goal to shoot for. The goal of the second generation punk is to do things because it makes sense, not because that's what society says is the way to go. This actually explains the original punk look. Society said "buy expensive clothing", but punks said "Salvation Army, baby! $10 for a whole outfit". The styles at the Salvation Army are the styles rejected by people and therefore dumped into a big bin outside a department store.

I think my "punkness" is the base of a lot of what I do: it's why I exercise and it's why I wear shorts. Wait! Exercise? Doesn't society tell us to be skinny and/or muscular (depending on age/gender)? Going with the crowd there, eh? Well, kinda, but kinda not. Society does push toward exercise from time to time, but for the wrong reasons. It tells us to exercise to be sexy, whereas I exercise for health (my stunning good looks are just a side-effect). So being a punk, in my mind, is considering why you are doing what you are doing. Are you doing it because someone told you it's the way it should be? Or because you determined for yourself that it's the way it should be?

The punk rant is actually a good opening for a lot of the rest of the site. I hope most of the other opinions expressed on this website come from my own careful consideration of the facts, and not because someone told me that's the way it should be.

Michael the musician

Disclaimer time again...

I know there will be some musically talented people reading this page. Just because this page is called "Michael the musician", that doesn't mean I think I'm a musician. I've never been good at music, but I've always been good at noise (ask me about my "tower of power" and the 20-some speakers I had in my room). Anyway, one sign that I am no musician is that I cannot sing. I really cannot hit any notes right. From time to time, I have a lucky day and I can sing an entire song or two without missing a note. It's quite scary when I do. But, most of the time, I don't even come close. I think I can attribute my poor singing abilities to various children's choirs at church. From time to time, they would put me on the spot, and I've always been very self conscience, so that scared me from singing. I learned to lipsynch and gave up on singing. But that's of little interest.

Well, when I was pretty young, maybe 6 or 7, I decided to take up playing the piano. Both my parents could play, and I wanted to be able to make the same noises. However, no one told me that the piano is pretty hard to play. Well, I started learning and soon it became a chore with required practice time, which is never fun. Also, I got a piano teacher, which was even less fun. Let me explain why. My family has a huge, old grand piano which was probably designed to be played in a huge concert hall without amplification (as there was no such thing as a speaker when the piano was made). So, this piano is quite loud. So, my teacher would always tell me to play quieter. Of course, she would play at full volume without knowing it. Well, I ended up spending all my time during the lesson concentrating on pressing the keys just hard enough to have the hammer hit the strings. So, needless to say, I quit piano as soon as I possibly could. I think I may have been 11 or 12 when my parents finally let me quit.

Well, later on, me and some of my church friends decided we wanted to start a ska band. There were a lot of us, so it was certainly possible. Since there was nothing else for me to do, I decided to take up guitar (at least, I think that's how it went). I still have my guitar, a black Gibson electric with a tiny amp (don't worry, I have way bigger amps, when I want to make noise). I have to say, I really enjoy playing guitar, but I'm not good at it. However, you don't need to be talented to play rhythm guitar in a teenage ska band (leave the mad solos to Ben). I'll probably comment more on guitar later, but now I have to move to the next important event. The band had never actually rehearsed, so we weren't technically a band. Well, some people in the band decided it was too hard being in a band that didn't practice, and our drummer moved away to North Carolina (he was really good). Well, it was pretty much down to 4 or 5 people and no drummer. Since I wasn't really good at guitar, I decided it would probably be simplest for me to take up drums. So, in August 2001, my parents got me a drum set - the cheapest one we could find. In retrospect, I'm surprised they even bought that, as it would seem that I should have given up quite quickly based on my past musical efforts.

Well, no one in my family had drummed before, except my uncle, but he (like our old drummer) was in North Carolina. I got some books and videos and started teaching myself. I was painfully bad, but I slowly started catching on. By this point, the remaining 4 or 5 members started "practicing". We were still technically ska at that point, as we had trumpet and, from time to time, trombone. However, we never actually worked out any real brass parts to any of songs. Our trombone player officially left, so all we had left was trumpet. The trumpet player decided to take up bass, and relieve our singer and former bassist of that position. So, now we were a band of 4 people, two of whom were very new to their respective instruments. Again, I don't need to say it, but we weren't very good. But hey, we sure were loud! Our guitarist, who is quite tallented, started writing some sick music. Meanwhile, both the bassist and I were getting better at the instruments that we played. Oddly enough, we played at a "talent" show. It was the first time in a long time that I had drummed in front of anyone else, and it was the first time in a long time that I had performed music, or anything for that matter. Despite the fact that everyone there wouldn't have cared if we hadn't hit a note right, I was pretty scared. However, I had a lot of fun playing.

The band managed to also get 3rd place out of about 8 bands in a battle of the bands. That show was a lot of fun to play. By that point, we had our collection of, count them, 4 songs that we wrote and performed. We didn't play other people's stuff, probably because we didn't sound good when we did. But of course, I think it's cool when a junk basement band plays their own stuff. Thankfully, I have my church's old sound system, so I can make super-high quality recordings of our music (of course, if the music is bad, there's only so much I can do to make it sound better, but at least the system doesn't make it sound worse).

In case anyone cares, the name of our band is 6 Feet To Go. I guess that's supposed to imply that weren't not dead yet, or something. We used to be The Randominiums (probably because were we more random than we were good). There are 4 members: myself, who you already. Our singer is Rob, our bassist is Calvin, and our guitarist is Ben. Well, since the guitarist and I moved off to college for fall 2002, the band had to pause for the school year. However, as I'm writing this, it's summer 2003 and we're back together. It seems that the band will not be able to get back together for summer 2004, however, as both Ben and I will not be around, if all goes as planned. Right now, I think the goal for the summer is to play some shows, and to record our album so that we have something to show for the band. We only have 1 song recorded with the lyrics recorded, the other 3 recorded songs were recorded when the singer was busy. I would be happy with an 8-10 track CD. Right now we're working on a new song by Calvin, which is really killer. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to yesterday's recording. I think we're almost ready to record the final version of that song. Also, Ben just wrote a new song, which is a nice mellower, almost dark sounding tune, which should be fun. I'm working on writing a parody and a joke song. I may record all parts of the joke song myself (except for singing), as the song isn't anything fancy, so it's hardly worth the trouble of getting the band together. The lyrics are awesome, however.

So, that's my story of "music". So, right now, I'm awful at piano (I sometimes play stuff I wrote for guitar on the piano), I'm bad at guitar (but, I could survive as a punker), and I'm decent at drums. I think my family wishes I played something quieter than drums, and that I play the drums with less passion (a.k.a loudness). In case you want to see me playing my guitar and drums, I made a video, which you can watch online. Before I give you a link, a little disclaimer. First, I'm not wearing a shirt. That is because the video was meant to be an experiment, and I was too lazy to put on a shirt after I got up. Next, I messed up a bit. Also, I wrote that little tune, so that's why it sounds so dumb. The reason for recording the video was an experiment in video editing and overlay. Well, now that you have been warned, I'll give you the links. Click here for the broadband version (2.95MB) (http://www.ftper.com/videos/MusicMix.wmv). Click here for the dial-up version (.37MB) (http://www.ftper.com/videos/MusicMixSmall.wmv). Also, I have decided to include a video of 6 Feet To Go practicing. Again, it's time for a disclaimer. This was only a practice - we weren't even doing studio recording. Also, the singer wasn't able to come that day, which was our last practice before Ben and I went off to college. There are plenty of mistakes in this recording, but overall, the song held together. The name of the song is either "Back Then" or "Johanna" and I'm really not sure which it is at the moment, but I'm leaning toward "Johanna". Click here for the broadband version (6.53MB) (http://www.ftper.com/videos/6FTG2.wmv). Click here for the dial-up version (1.2MB) (http://www.ftper.com/videos/6FTG1.wmv)

Michael the businessman

Many businessmen wear nice suits and ties. I wear shorts and a T-Shirt.

Man, how I love Internet business! Well, business is going to be one of my degrees from UConn once I finish, not that matters. Almost everyone I know that is a good businessman and also has a business degree says that a business degree is useless. I don't doubt them. I'm getting a business degree because business classes are entertaining.

Well, I'll give a history of my entrance into the weird world of business. A decent amount of time ago, I think when I was 11, I got a computer from the pastor of my church. It was nothing fancy or state-of-the-art, in fact, it was an early 1980's IBM PC with a yellow and black screen. When I would start it up, it could only load Microsoft BASIC (Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code - a programming language). I later learned that if I whack it on the side during start-up, it could load MS DOS. Well, my father knew a little bit of BASIC and he taught me how to make a program that could add a couple numbers. I found that quite fascinating. I managed to get my hands on some reference books that simply had hundreds of commands and information about BASIC syntax. They weren't exciting, but soon I was programming in BASIC (I probably did this because everything else I did at that point in my life was pretty boring). Well, eventually I got a modern computer and I started programming in languages that could be used to distribute programs to other people.

In the mean time, I realized that some day I would have to go off to college. Going to college would mean that I would have to take the SAT. Since I was homeschooled, I had never taken a "real" test and therefore the SAT intimidated me. The easy solution would have been to practice for the SAT, but easy solutions were never my style. Therefore, I had to avoid the SAT, and the way to avoid the SAT is to avoid college, and the way to avoid college is to get rich before college (because college is about learning various ways to make money, right?). So, I knew I wasn't going to get rich mowing lawns or selling lemonade. Therefore, I started looking at how to open a business. I ordered hundreds of pages of information from various sources to figure out how to start and run a business. I think I read more page of business documents in one month than I had read pages of novels in my lifetime. Some time in August when I was 14 years old, I walked into the Berlin town hall and after a little trouble (I was 14, after all, and wasn't allowed to own a business), my father and I registered my company RoadSide Software. I should note, that a current survey at that time of 14 year old males found that around 60% of them wanted to own their own business. I was probably one of the very few who actually did.

The rest is pretty boring, except I now run an Internet business and my goal is never to be employeed by anyone else. So far, I am meeting that goal quite well.

I have more dreams for businesses other than just software. Software is fun, but there is a lot more that I could do. One thing I'd like to do is own a nutrition store. There would be a physical store and also an online division. I would be able to offer super low prices because I think any profit margin is a good profit margin and I'm good at finding good deals and discounts. Some day, I would also like to make and sell a car, but that might require a little more effort. There are many other businesses I'd like to start. I think I'll start a master company and call it "RoadSide Enterprises". That company would own all my other companies.

Michael the Christian

This is the most important aspect of me.

So, therefore, I hope I don't mess it up and write something that I don't mean. Well, let me just state what I believe. I believe that Jesus is the son of God, that Jesus came to Earth fulfilling God's promise of a savior. While on Earth, he told us how we should live and showed us the way to heaven. I believe that Jesus was executed and that he rose from the dead, thereby paying for the sins of all humanity if we want our sins paid for (to be absolutely clear, I do actually believe that there was a dead body of Jesus, and then later that body was no longer dead). I believe that if I ask God to forgive my sins, God will forgive them, thereby making me free of sin.

So, that's the basics, but there is a little more I'd like to say. I think that many non-Christians don't understand Christians well. That is probably because we Christians don't explain ourselves well. While I can only speak for myself, I think at least some other Christians would agree with what I say (if you don't, send an email, please!). Note: if I refer to God as "He", that's not because I think God is somehow "male" or "masculine", but rather because it sounds clunky to talk otherwise. Also, in German (which is where English comes from), the word for "God" is "der Gott". "Der" is a masculine word, and therefore is referred to back to as "er" (he), "ihn" (him), or "ihm" (him - dative). Also, note that the Germans don't think that God is always a "male" thing. "Das M�dchen" is a word for a female person, but "das" is neuter. As my German professor said "If the German's didn't know that girls were females, there wouldn't be any Germans left".

Do Christians think their better than other people? Well, I'm sure some do. But, we shouldn't. One of the main things about being Christian is admitting that we are no better than anyone else, admitting that we are bad and asking that God forgive us of that (and God guarantees our forgiveness). So, while Christians often act high and mighty, we aren't. There are some sins that are easier to abstain from, and sometimes Christians will play up those sins in order to make themselves look "better" in their own eyes (I'm sure I've done this many times - and I ask both your forgiveness and God's forgiveness for that). However, to quite the Bible, "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log in your own" - Luke 6:41.

Why do Christians do so many bad things? There have been hundreds of times through history where people have done terrible things and they did it claiming that's what God wanted them to do (from what I hear, even Hitler was good at quoting the Bible). Just because Christians did it (even under God's name) doesn't mean that's what God actually wants! As I was saying before, Christians are only humans and therefore we commit sins like everyone else. Sometimes we use the fact that we're Christian to gather momentum among Christian for our human causes and we do it under the Christian banner (and we manage to put another sin of top of the sins we were already committing - using the Lord's name in vain).

Aren't most people Christian simply because their parents were Christian? Well, that's not necessarily true. Ask any Christian raised in a Christian family, and ask him/her if he/she has ever challenged his/her own faith (stupid political correctness). You will probably find that most people raised Christian, including myself, at one point felt uneasy with their faith. They probably realized that maybe they were only believing something because their parents believed it. However, even after I re-evaluated my faith, I realized that my parents were right after all.

How can you be so sure there is a God? How do you know you have the right God? This is a really tough question to answer. Different people have different answers. If you don't believe in any God, ask yourself this question: "How can I be sure there is no God at all?" Suppose there was plenty of scientific evidence against the existence of a God or a creator. Couldn't God have created that evidence himself? After all, an all-powerful God could certainly make a bunch of bones buried in the dirt somewhere. So, it becomes quite scientifically impossible to "prove" there is no God. Then another question to consider is "where did we come from?". I'm not talking about some creationist/evolutionist debate, but rather, where did matter come from? Suppose there was a "big bang", where did the matter for that come from? As far as I can tell, it's quite hard to create a scientific explanation for the start of the universe. So, if you think there is no God, at least consider that there could be a God. And, suppose there is a God, couldn't God know what you're thinking. So, even if you're still doubtful, you should ask God to show Himself to you. You don't have to say anything out loud, just ask God to show Himself to you. So, I haven't answered the question yet. How can I be sure there is a God? Well, I asked God to show Himself to me and he did. I had to pay good attention, but it happened. "Feeling God's presence" is not an easy thing to describe. It's not something you would expect and it isn't the way you might expect it (the Bible describes an event where God wasn't in the storms or fire, as you might expect from an all-power God, but rather, God was in the calm).

How do I know I have the right God? Again, very hard to answer. The stories of the Bible hold together amazingly well, and they describe clearly how to communicate with God and who God is. When I communicate with God, I can tell that the Bible described God as He is. Also, if I'm feeling doubtful, I can look to some of the physical evidence that God left. For example, the Shroud of Turin are the supposed burial wrappings of Jesus Christ (I'll talk about the Shroud in a second). The Shroud provides a little reassurance if I'm doubtful.

Wait a second, didn't they prove the Shroud was a fake? Ah, glad you asked. It just so happens that my grandfather and grandmother on my mother's side are quite good Shroud researchers. A lot of what is known about the Shroud was first seen by my grandparents. Therefore, I have seen a lot about the Shroud that the mass Media has never published. There was once a carbon dating done of the Shroud that placed the date of the Shroud around 1300 AD. The media quickly accepted the results at face value and labeled the Shroud as fraud and largely ignored later findings. Well, there were a few problems with the test. One problem is that the Shroud still has living bacteria on it, and carbon dating requires that the item be dead so that the scientists can measure the ration of carbon 14 to carbon 12, which have different half-lives. If the item is still alive, the amount of carbon will not even start to decrease. Another factor, which I think is (correct me if I'm wrong, Granddad) is that the sample taken from the Shroud contained fibers from the repairs done to the Shroud. The Shroud was once caught in a fire and some of it was burned and patches were added to it. If I remember right, I was in my grandparents basement, and I was shown a video of the sample being taken, and watching it in slow motion, one could see that the sample was party from the replacement patches. There is also an amazing amount of evidence showing that the Shroud is real. There are images flowers that can be seen on the Shroud, and the pollen around those images match the flowers, and the flowers place the Shroud right where it should be (that is, the flowers show that the Shroud originated from where Jesus died). The body shown on the Shroud is also anatomically perfect, not even the most crafty surgeons and artists working together in the 1300's could have possibly drawn such an accurate image (and it is now generally accepted, even by critics, that the Shroud was not painted with a paint brush). There's a ton more, if you're interested ask me. If I don't know, I'll ask my grandfather, who probably does know.

Michael the shorts-guy

But why, Michael? Why do you wear shorts for the whole winter? Do you not realize that you live in Connecticut?

Yes, I am quite unaware of the fact that I live in Connecticut. Every time someone tells me that CT is where I'm from, I fall over in shock (sarcasm - I gotta work on being less sarcastic). Well, let me begin with how it got started. I forget how long it's being going on, but it's been a while (years). Basically, I hate cold weather (seems a little illogical so far, but bear with me). I love the summer. I love the heat. Well, one year the weather was getting colder and colder, but I wanted the summer to stay. I refused to believe that the summer was already over, so I kept dressing as if it still were summer. It started snowing, but I knew that the warm weather would be coming back, and to show my loyalty to the warm weather, I kept wearing shorts. Surprisingly (to some), my legs managed to not feel the cold. I have had plenty of people push me over into the snow to try and prove to themselves that I really do feel the cold, but it just wasn't painful enough for me to show on the outside, however, their attempts to show that my legs feel cold always have failed.

So, my shorts is about mind over matter. Either the weather will control me or I will control the weather. And I don't want anything pesky like the weather bossing me around! Did you know, if it weren't for my shorts, the winter would declare victory and stay all year around? Therefore, I would like to encourage all my readers to also wear shorts year-round (note: by wearing any type of clothing, you automatically and thoroughly indemnify me, Michael Nehring, from any damage done by any type of weather).

Note, one logical explanation of why I don't feel cold in my legs may relate to some previous bike-riding experiences. Back a while ago, I would ride my friends' BMX bicycles, which had large platform pedals with decently sharp teeth for good shoe grip. However, since I wasn't too skill, often when I would go off of a jump, my feet wouldn't stay on the pedals, and the nice sharp teeth would dig firmly and deeply into my legs, tearing off long strips of skin. This probably did some nice damage to my skin, and now it probably can't feel cold as well as it used to.

There are some other benefits to wearing shorts. One big one is that it makes it easy to run in the winter. Pants are quite restrictive for the knee area, reducing range of motion and causing pain. Another, quite unexpected benefit is that I am famous - well, kinda. At the University of Connecticut, a surprising number of people recognize me as "the shorts guy". They don't know much about me other than the fact that I wear shorts. Aparently, I have aquired various nicknames among the people who know of me, but do not know me personally. Some of these include "Spike" (from my hair) and "Forest" (from the fact that I'm almost always running).