Monday, February 11, 2008

Michael the shorts-guy

But why, Michael? Why do you wear shorts for the whole winter? Do you not realize that you live in Connecticut?



Yes, I am quite unaware of the fact that I live in Connecticut. Every time someone tells me that CT is where I'm from, I fall over in shock (sarcasm - I gotta work on being less sarcastic). Well, let me begin with how it got started. I forget how long it's being going on, but it's been a while (years). Basically, I hate cold weather (seems a little illogical so far, but bear with me). I love the summer. I love the heat. Well, one year the weather was getting colder and colder, but I wanted the summer to stay. I refused to believe that the summer was already over, so I kept dressing as if it still were summer. It started snowing, but I knew that the warm weather would be coming back, and to show my loyalty to the warm weather, I kept wearing shorts. Surprisingly (to some), my legs managed to not feel the cold. I have had plenty of people push me over into the snow to try and prove to themselves that I really do feel the cold, but it just wasn't painful enough for me to show on the outside, however, their attempts to show that my legs feel cold always have failed.


So, my shorts is about mind over matter. Either the weather will control me or I will control the weather. And I don't want anything pesky like the weather bossing me around! Did you know, if it weren't for my shorts, the winter would declare victory and stay all year around? Therefore, I would like to encourage all my readers to also wear shorts year-round (note: by wearing any type of clothing, you automatically and thoroughly indemnify me, Michael Nehring, from any damage done by any type of weather).

Note, one logical explanation of why I don't feel cold in my legs may relate to some previous bike-riding experiences. Back a while ago, I would ride my friends' BMX bicycles, which had large platform pedals with decently sharp teeth for good shoe grip. However, since I wasn't too skill, often when I would go off of a jump, my feet wouldn't stay on the pedals, and the nice sharp teeth would dig firmly and deeply into my legs, tearing off long strips of skin. This probably did some nice damage to my skin, and now it probably can't feel cold as well as it used to.

There are some other benefits to wearing shorts. One big one is that it makes it easy to run in the winter. Pants are quite restrictive for the knee area, reducing range of motion and causing pain. Another, quite unexpected benefit is that I am famous - well, kinda. At the University of Connecticut, a surprising number of people recognize me as "the shorts guy". They don't know much about me other than the fact that I wear shorts. Aparently, I have aquired various nicknames among the people who know of me, but do not know me personally. Some of these include "Spike" (from my hair) and "Forest" (from the fact that I'm almost always running).

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